Reflections from a Canadian Family...
Dear Dr. Shivani,
It’s been exactly one year since you and
your team at SCI gave us our precious little boy and I wanted to write you this
letter not only to thank you and the SCI team for the priceless gift you gave
my wife and I but also as a message to all the people out there who have
suffered years of pain and doubt they will ever become parents.
Thanks to Dr. Shivani, the holes that were
left in our hearts from a stillbirth we suffered in 2011 were finally been
healed with the birth of our baby boy on April 30, 2013.
Many people don’t proceed with
International Surrogacy because of
“Fear”
so the purpose of this email is to alleviate any fear that you may have.
1)
FEAR OF FAILURE:
If you are like us, you have endured
unimaginable loss or constant rejection and feel it’s easier to stop trying
than to face any more. Can I guarantee
that you won’t experience rejection if you try surrogacy? Definitely not. After all, it took four surrogates before we
finally had our precious bundle of joy.
What I will tell you is what someone told me when we were just starting
with SCI and they were in India picking up their child… “It will work. It may take a few tries but it WILL
WORK.”
2)
FEAR OF TRAVELING HALFWAY
AROUND THE WORLD TO A COUNTRY I KNOW VERY LITTLE ABOUT
My parents were born in India and as a
child I visited there 5 times with the last trip being over 20 years ago. To be frank, my memories weren’t that great –
nobody spoke English, nobody had television, and I just couldn’t wait to get
back to Canada and go to McDonald’s.
When I first started reading the blogs, the
one thing that jumped out at me was how most of the people upon picking up
their baby were sad to leave India and how amazing they said their time was
here. I was perplexed. This can’t be the same India I remember from
my youth.
But for the 5 weeks that we were there
picking up our baby boy, I can honestly say there was no other place that I
wanted to be. We stayed at a beautiful
hotel that was not only filled with other Westerners going through the exact
same journey, it was attached to a mall that rivals any one you would see in
North America. It had everything from
Starbucks to Pizza Hut, McDonald’s to even a Hard Rock Café. If you can go see the Taj Mahal in the
morning and cap it off with a Haagen Dazs before you go to bed.
Oh and I forgot to add…if you’re Australian
or American you come home within 2 weeks of picking up your baby. If you’re Canadian, like me, it’s a little
longer (about 5 weeks) but that is a drop in the bucket compared to the
lifetime of memories you’re going to have with your child.
So if the reason you don’t want to try
surrogacy is the fear of travelling halfway around the world, don’t be.
3)
FEAR OF CHOOSING THE WRONG
CLINIC
OK, so you’ve decided that surrogacy is for
you but now you are wondering “which clinic do I choose?” Here is our thought process on how we finally
decided upon SCI…
1) Choosing a Country – Many countries
offer gestational surrogacy but we finally settled upon India for the simple
fact that it was one of highest success rates in the world. We have consistently found that the medical
care in India surpasses that of our home.
Dr. Shivani is medically trained in the UK and the medical equipment
they use is the same you would see at any hospital in the US and Canada. Our poor surrogate had to be admitted in the
hospital at 28 weeks. From the first day
she was admitted to the birth of our baby 5.5 weeks later we were getting daily
updates on her well being.
2) Choosing a City – We chose Delhi over
other cities in India because I knew all the head offices were there. The Canadian High Commission was there so I
knew if we had any issues whatsoever in just a 20 minute drive I could speak to
someone face to face.
3)
Choosing a Clinic – Now for the
most important part. We finally settled
on two clinics. Surrogacy Centre India
in New Delhi and Surrogacy India in Mumbai.
To break the tie I asked both clinics to provide with FIVE Canadian or
American references who used their clinics.
Surrogacy India only sent over a couple.
Surrogacy Centre India not only sent me FIVE references but they sent me
over five people who first didn’t have any luck at Surrogacy India but then had
success using Surrogacy Centre India.
After our first call with a reference who lives only 15 minutes away
from our home in Canada we were sold.
One other very important point.
One of the biggest factors in deciding the clinic was
how well they treat the surrogate mothers.
I can’t speak to other clinics but at SCI the Surrogates are treated
very well. First and foremost, they
don’t hide them beside some secretive well.
We met the surrogate mothers (we used multiple) before the process
started and again when we came to pick up our baby. We even requested to meet her husband and
children as we had gifts for them and SCI arranged. Speaking of family, SCI keeps the surrogate
mother with her family during the entire pregnancy. This was also very important to us as we know
most have little children of their own.
In fact, when our Surrogate Mother went on hospital bed rest, they made
sure her family was able to visit her every day.
This letter, has officially passed the
1,000 word mark so apologize for the length of it but if I can help guide
someone who, like us, been searching for a way to build their family then this
has all been worth it.
If anyone wishes to speak with me about our
journey, feel free to pass along my email address.
B, A and baby P
P.S.
Attached is the picture of P when we first brought him home from the
NICU.
If you would like to find out more about surrogacy in India, please email us at: drshivanisachdev@gmail.com
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