From Canada: An experience of a lifetime

Reflections from a Canadian Family...

Dear Dr. Shivani,

It’s been exactly one year since you and your team at SCI gave us our precious little boy and I wanted to write you this letter not only to thank you and the SCI team for the priceless gift you gave my wife and I but also as a message to all the people out there who have suffered years of pain and doubt they will ever become parents.

Thanks to Dr. Shivani, the holes that were left in our hearts from a stillbirth we suffered in 2011 were finally been healed with the birth of our baby boy on April 30, 2013.

Many people don’t proceed with International Surrogacy because of  “Fear”
so the purpose of this email is to alleviate any fear that you may have.

1)     FEAR OF FAILURE:

If you are like us, you have endured unimaginable loss or constant rejection and feel it’s easier to stop trying than to face any more.  Can I guarantee that you won’t experience rejection if you try surrogacy? Definitely not.   After all, it took four surrogates before we finally had our precious bundle of joy.  What I will tell you is what someone told me when we were just starting with SCI and they were in India picking up their child… “It will work.  It may take a few tries but it WILL WORK.” 

2)     FEAR OF TRAVELING HALFWAY AROUND THE WORLD TO A COUNTRY I KNOW VERY LITTLE ABOUT

My parents were born in India and as a child I visited there 5 times with the last trip being over 20 years ago.  To be frank, my memories weren’t that great – nobody spoke English, nobody had television, and I just couldn’t wait to get back to Canada and go to McDonald’s. 

When I first started reading the blogs, the one thing that jumped out at me was how most of the people upon picking up their baby were sad to leave India and how amazing they said their time was here.  I was perplexed.  This can’t be the same India I remember from my youth.

But for the 5 weeks that we were there picking up our baby boy, I can honestly say there was no other place that I wanted to be.  We stayed at a beautiful hotel that was not only filled with other Westerners going through the exact same journey, it was attached to a mall that rivals any one you would see in North America.  It had everything from Starbucks to Pizza Hut, McDonald’s to even a Hard Rock Café.  If you can go see the Taj Mahal in the morning and cap it off with a Haagen Dazs before you go to bed.  

Oh and I forgot to add…if you’re Australian or American you come home within 2 weeks of picking up your baby.  If you’re Canadian, like me, it’s a little longer (about 5 weeks) but that is a drop in the bucket compared to the lifetime of memories you’re going to have with your child.

So if the reason you don’t want to try surrogacy is the fear of travelling halfway around the world, don’t be.

3)     FEAR OF CHOOSING THE WRONG CLINIC

OK, so you’ve decided that surrogacy is for you but now you are wondering “which clinic do I choose?”  Here is our thought process on how we finally decided upon SCI…

1) Choosing a Country – Many countries offer gestational surrogacy but we finally settled upon India for the simple fact that it was one of highest success rates in the world.  We have consistently found that the medical care in India surpasses that of our home.   Dr. Shivani is medically trained in the UK and the medical equipment they use is the same you would see at any hospital in the US and Canada.   Our poor surrogate had to be admitted in the hospital at 28 weeks.  From the first day she was admitted to the birth of our baby 5.5 weeks later we were getting daily updates on her well being.

2) Choosing a City – We chose Delhi over other cities in India because I knew all the head offices were there.  The Canadian High Commission was there so I knew if we had any issues whatsoever in just a 20 minute drive I could speak to someone face to face.

3)     Choosing a Clinic – Now for the most important part.  We finally settled on two clinics.  Surrogacy Centre India in New Delhi and Surrogacy India in Mumbai.  To break the tie I asked both clinics to provide with FIVE Canadian or American references who used their clinics.  Surrogacy India only sent over a couple.  Surrogacy Centre India not only sent me FIVE references but they sent me over five people who first didn’t have any luck at Surrogacy India but then had success using Surrogacy Centre India.   After our first call with a reference who lives only 15 minutes away from our home in Canada we were sold.  One other very important point. 

One of the biggest factors in deciding the clinic was how well they treat the surrogate mothers.  I can’t speak to other clinics but at SCI the Surrogates are treated very well. First and foremost,  they don’t hide them beside some secretive well.  We met the surrogate mothers (we used multiple) before the process started and again when we came to pick up our baby.  We even requested to meet her husband and children as we had gifts for them and SCI arranged.   Speaking of family, SCI keeps the surrogate mother with her family during the entire pregnancy.  This was also very important to us as we know most have little children of their own.  In fact, when our Surrogate Mother went on hospital bed rest, they made sure her family was able to visit her every day. 

This letter, has officially passed the 1,000 word mark so apologize for the length of it but if I can help guide someone who, like us, been searching for a way to build their family then this has all been worth it. 

If anyone wishes to speak with me about our journey, feel free to pass along my email address.

B, A and baby P

P.S.  Attached is the picture of P when we first brought him home from the NICU.

If you would like to find out more about surrogacy in India, please email us at: drshivanisachdev@gmail.com