Dear Indian Government, ICMR, Activists, NGO’s
& Foreign Press,
STOP TRYING TO SAVE INDIAN WOMEN FROM THEMSELVES!!!!
Recently, a friend of mine quoted her
mother who grew up in extreme poverty in Portugal: “Wealthy people are always
telling poor people how they CAN’T make money.”
This incredibly sage pearl of wisdom made
me think of how Indian Surrogate mothers have recently been slammed,
persecuted, shamed, pushed down and silenced by people who are trying to swoop
in and save them. But what exactly are these self-proclaimed superheroes trying
to save Indian surrogates from?
Despite the demeaning way media outlets
depict Indian women, surrogates in India are not frail, stupid, illiterate,
incompetent underdogs who need activists to speak on their behalf. Indian
surrogates are strong, wise, compassionate, intelligent and poised. They own
their bodies. They are making decisions pertaining to their own bodies and
lives for the first time in India’s patriarchal history. Surrogacy empowers
Indian women to lead their families out of crisis, poverty and other
challenges. The compensation they receive can finance the education of their
children, start a lucrative business or build a decent home for their own families.
I find it reviling when activists talk
about Indian surrogacy, pronouncing the word money like it is a filthy word they are gagging on. It is easy for
privileged people to trivialize the surrogates’ compensation because to us,
money is easily accessible and even dispensable. But to an Indian surrogate
mother, money can be life changing. We are not talking about mere dollar bills
here. Within the context of Indian surrogacy, money = life. Money = education. Money
= opportunity. Money = home. Money = a child’s future. Money = hope. Money =
freedom. You see, it is not the money itself, but what the money represents. If
activists had their way, they would be denying Indian women the option to have
financial independence.
Surrogacy is a job. It is not prostitution.
It is not a baby market. The job description is simple: to care and nurture another’s
child, giving them a safe place to grow. This kind of work is respectable and
noble. Surrogacy may not be a job most Westerners would choose, or even a
wealthy, Indian government official.
It seems that any job that involves
nurturing is looked down upon. Consider how even teachers and nurses are
treated by society. Surrogacy is a good, honest job that can provide for a
family. Women in poor countries work hard. They always have and they always
will. However, the trend among activists is to try to stop women in poor
countries from performing difficult tasks. If a job is physically challenging,
the job is labelled as exploitive, even
if the work is a blessing to a family. This
is both condescending and destructive. All women have a right to work in
whatever capacity they choose. Never underestimate what an Indian woman can
achieve.
The government of India has recently
proposed a ban on surrogacy. What fascinates me about this proposal is that the
Indian Government is claiming to be concerned about women being exploited. And
yet, their plan to protect women from being exploited is to take away their
basic human rights. The media and the government alike have been quite
proactive in preventing Indian surrogates from speaking. Many surrogates are
eager to talk to the press so they can assure the public they are not being
exploited. The surrogates are not even allowed to speak in the same Supreme
Court trial that is supposedly fighting for them. The questionable (and ironically timed)
memorandum sent by the ICMR to halt Indian Surrogacy before any laws were
passed, was challenged by over 70 surrogates who stormed the gates of the ICMR,
demanding to be heard. Indian surrogates have their own voices and are
perfectly capable of speaking without permission of the government and the
foreign press.
Apparently, the ICMR and various Indian
government officials consider a woman’s ability to create life to be shameful
and dirty. They compare surrogates to breeding cows and prostitutes. Clearly,
they do not understand science if they think there is anything sexual about
being a surrogate. The sexualisation and objectification of surrogates by the
government is what demoralizes surrogates; not the act of having a baby, and
certainly not the act of offering the gift of life to another. Does the ancient
and rich culture of India not consider motherhood to be sacred? Why the double
standard? Thank you, Ovary Police, for
hijacking women’s private parts and dictating if, how and when a woman can have
a baby.
After reading the proposed bill to ban
surrogacy, I don’t know whether I should laugh, cry, scream or vomit. There is nothing in this proposed bill that will
benefit the surrogates in any way. Nearly every item is presumptuous and
theoretical babble as to whether or not a surrogate understands what is going
on. I am utterly amazed at how government officials, (most of whom are men)
seem to be experts on what it feels like to be pregnant, and whether or not a
woman can tolerate pregnancy.
Furthermore, we could all save a lot of valuable
time, effort and stress if surrogates were given the chance to speak for
themselves. This ridiculous court trial, discussing the interests of surrogates,
has been going on since 2012, and the surrogates are still not allowed to
speak! Tell me again about how the Indian government respects women.
I’ve heard the argument that within the
context of poverty, there is no such thing as choices or consent. This notion
is vomitus – it does not liberate women, but rather suggests that a woman’s
socio-economic background determines whether or not she is allowed to make
decisions for herself. Such a philosophy oppresses women and sanctions the act
of privileged people making choices that affect a woman’s fate. Additionally,
Indian surrogacy clinics that operate ethically do not permit extremely
impoverished women to be surrogates, making the poverty argument moot. If the
critics are concerned about poverty, their time would be better spent on taking
action to end extreme poverty, rather than disempowering women from taking
control of their own financial destiny.
In conclusion, if you feel sorry for Indian
surrogate mothers, don’t. Just stop
it. They don’t need to be rescued. They are too busy changing the world for the
better to listen to condescending nonsense from privileged people who
underestimate them. Most people do not fully understand what surrogacy is, and
therefore make gross assumptions about it. I strongly advise those of you who
fit the description above to mind your own business and let Indian women choose
their own destiny.
Writer: Allison McWood
